Throughout the last fifteen years of being involved in the Indian community and interacting with numerous non Indian, Western,and white girls who struggle with relationships and commitments with their Indian boyfriends, I discuss the top three mistakes that the majority of these girls make while trying to conquer the struggles of approval from their Indian boyfriend or ‘s family. Mistake Thinking Love Can Conquer All Many Americans hold an [ссылка] ideal that regardless of social status, culture, economic status, educational history and faith, love will conquer all these issues and make everything ‘okay. ‘ This is true if and only if the few have extensive talks before marriage about expectations after marriage and in the long run, for example both partners’ career aspirations, family planning, traditions, values, picking the place to reside among [ссылка] a number of other factors. Of course, not everything could be breached beforehand. Situations do shift after marriage and during time. Mistaking Love for Commitment To many Westerners, the statement I adore you often stands for a long term devotion. That’s reason why many American apps broach the hard choices people make and situations which arise when one partner says I adore you along with the other isn’t ready to say it yet. This having been said, when many American women hear the words I adore you, they take that quite seriously. Due to error number one, she believes the guy will do everything and anything in his power to make a long term commitment which will sooner than later develop into marriage. The dilemma is that in many Indian households, many may still believe love comes after marriage. This is of course because of the arranged marriage that’s prevalent among many segments of Indian society irrespective of geography. Thinking of this from the perspective of this Indian’s relationship with you, bear in mind he may hold back physical and emotional forms of affection as well as verbal confirmations of love. In fact, many Indian men who really do love you may withhold this from respect for you and wanting to book these particular occasions for later tying the knot. The issue here is thatin many Indian’s minds, they may not commit to at least one of these forms of affection before their parents have contributed the go ahead. His relationship with you in this case, isn’t separate from his relationship with his family in that manner. When his family accepts you you’re now family, so in his head he is more willing to be open and available for you. Giving Up Everything Even Their Very Identity for Love Due to this upsurge of the Internet, the prevalence of cross cultural love affairs takes place without the two people ever interacting face to face in person compared to Skype, which isn’t the same. The first time these couples fulfill face to face is if one saves up enough money to go to the other. Sometimes, their first face to face experience is also when they opt to wed. The irony in all this is that this set up is quite much like an arranged marriage minus the family pairing you up. You as the woman are behaving as the super traditional Indian woman who gives up everything including her loved ones, place of home, independence and identity to wed and move to India. Paradoxically, since the prevalence of Western girls taking part in this behavior increases, Indian man’s desire to wed the Westerner may increase as more and more modern Indian girls are not interested in being confined and conventional. Ironic that a Westerner is ready to be more conventional than an Indian who is stereotyped as more conventional , isn’Can it be? Since the Western woman is wrapped up at the exotic which is India the conventional culture with the perceived greater sense of family values because of living in an elongated family, and the concept of love conquering all, she’s blinded by the truth that is about to hit her like a pile of bricks. The honeymoon in many of these cases never begins or ends before the marriage takes place. There is not any honeymoon because the culture shock, gravity and reality of this situation hits the woman occasionally the moment the heat strikes her face as she deboards the plane. Tying Things Up Many say The first year of marriage is the toughest. This can be said one of Americans who marry other Americans not in a normal cross cultural relationship. Yes, the first year of marriage can be the toughest even if the mindsets, environment and communication challenges look quite similar. Even for those who have traveled widely within their own countries or abroad, they immediately realize living in another nation, also with in laws is worlds different than visiting an area on a holiday and staying at a resort! As a side note this post isn’t intended to dissuade you from trying a same sex union it’s supposed to assist you think about the truth that stands ahead of you. Life will NOT be easy, the romanticism and exoticism will die quickly and love may not conquer all when you land up in India and are in the midst of culture shock and your new family doesn’t approach life the same manner as you. In these cases, many start to shed themselves, feel misunderstood and eventually become bitter toward their new family and life generally. Jennifer Kumar, Managing Director of Authentic Journeys assists Indians construct the skills to become confident and successful in handling business relationships with Americans. She works with Indians in India and Indian expats NRIs in the US over Skype, phone or other VOIP programs. Editing and photography in this is done by Kristy Robinson.